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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Alex. He’s all hyped about this new art exhibit at the “Muzeul de Artă.” I’m like, “Dude, I just spilled coffee on my shirt!” But he drags me there anyway. And wow, the art was insane! There was this piece that looked like a giant spaghetti monster. I mean, who thinks of that? I was laughing so hard, I almost forgot about my shirt. Almost.

Ferris State Environmental Biology grad Amara Burke finds success after taking unexpected path